drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
