As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
