she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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