I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
