She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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