Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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