Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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