I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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