I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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