Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
