I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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