Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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