U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're like the curious george of whores
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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