If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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