You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
