we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
