After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
