I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
