Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
