omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
