If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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