i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
