I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
