Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
