Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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