whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
