Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
