i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
