Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
