Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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