I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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