seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
