are you still at the devil's house?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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