He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
