my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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