i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize