is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize