i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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