After last night, I could never be a politician.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
