dude i'm inner monologue high
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
