I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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