remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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