how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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