is your mom at the bar?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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