I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
