(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
