My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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