Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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