Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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