bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
