I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
