"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
