Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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