Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The beer is more important than you right now.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
