Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
