Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
