butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
