i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize