Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
