my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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