OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
