Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
