Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
