my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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