i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
