he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
