I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
