I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
