I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
